It's June 16, 2011....Thursday....right?

So it's been about a month since the spring semester ended. I'm pretty bored as no where seems to be hiring. Or if they are "hiring" they don't call back at all. Kinda pisses me off. Whatever. I keep trying and that's all I can do. My boyfriend has had final exams all week...not fun. Along with tons of other stuff to do I barely get to see him because he's always in a rush.

I honestly don't even know where he is right now. I thought he was getting out of finals at 12:30 or something like that but it's now 1:30. I'm just a little confused. Oh well.... I'll call him or something and see him soon I hope.

formspring.me

Ask me anything but I won't promise to answer it. http://formspring.me/Lunarlette

formspring.me

Ask me anything but I won't promise to answer it. http://formspring.me/Lunarlette

formspring.me

Ask me anything but I won't promise to answer it. http://formspring.me/Lunarlette

formspring.me

Ask me anything but I won't promise to answer it. http://formspring.me/Lunarlette

AHHHH!!!

Well, I have no idea what to really do. Yes, even now I am procrastinating on a literature essay. I just can't think. My brain is literally in a fog. I want to try but I'm wondering if it might be better to just call it quits for the night and work on it tomorrow. It's due by 2:30 in the afternoon so it's not like I am going to have to only get three hours sleep and then try to write more.

I guess I may try for a few more minutes to write it and if in another half an hour I don't get a good surge of inspiration I will just go to bed, I've been tired all day and stressed out bad. I don't know why.


Yesterday was good though. Especially for a Valentine's Day. My mom got me a huge stuffed unicorn that's white and red, it might as well be a large pillow pet without the pillow shape. My boyfriend, Dakota, of a year and a half gave me a small box of chocolates. I thought it was so cute. I felt like I was kinda cheap though because I couldn't really do anything for him. I got him a card a week ago and I gave him a Monster. He was happy though.


I cleaned up my room a bit, now maybe on Friday I will put laundry away and stuff. I've been worn out lately and it really sucks. I just can't wait for summer. I'm sick of all the cold, the snow, the ice, the wind, and the slush. I also am sick of wearing my boots. I want to wear my converse again. I want to be able to enjoy the outside again. =(


Oh well. Just another day in Maine for now.

I'm a lover not a fighter but I'll fight for what I love.

Lover

Care, Affection

Comforts, Listens, Gives

Friends, Enemies, Dreams, Nightmares

Endures, Defeats, Competes

Stern, Stoic
Fighter

Wanderings of a Broken Heart (Poem by me)

No matter what I do
I can't get you off my mind
There is nothing I can do about it
I just sit with memories
They spin around my head

I can't explain this feeling
This hole inside my chest
Every night its ripped open
Every day its throbbing

Every promise you said
Were they all lies?
Will I ever really know?
I don't think I will

There is no cure for this
There is no salve or balm
I cannot get away from it
It is overwhelming

Now you've disappeared
I reach to you and there is nothing
I want to feel the warmth again
I fear it is impossible to be saved.

Maybe someday I will forget
Right now I would love to be freed
For now I am forever lost
Lost in this world of chaos

Unanswered Questions (Poem by me)

What do you do when you can't do anything?
Where do you go when the one place you felt love is gone?
How do you feel when there is only pain?
Who do you go to when the person you love disappears?
Why do you live when its killing you?
There is no time for doubt in life.
I don't doubt the fact that I love you.
I want you to be happy, but I'm still bleeding.
I feel my throat close everynight with tears.
My dreams aren't dreams anymore.
My thoughts are dark.
I wait in futile desire, hopelessly thinking you're there.
I want to end my pain, but I can't.
So where do I go now that you're gone?
What do I do when I can't do anything?
How do I get over this when you still have my heart?
Who do I go to when you were the one?
Why does this not surprise me anymore?

My Dark Prince (Poem by me)

In the dark I weep alone
Wondering if anyone cares
I sleep to dream of you
Only to wake to see you not there

I sit in my corner
Waiting for you
I know your there
Come find me

I scream I love you
But no one hears
I cry out with anguish
And scream your name

But I am alone, dead and cold
I try to find you
To tell you I love you
Only I can't see in these mists around me

I need help and then I see a light.
I slowly follow it
Wondering why its there
I see you and i don't feel so alone

My body and soul become alive again
I feel warm and i smile...
But then you disappear

I scream for you
I yell your name once more
I am alone now
Scared and cold again

And so i sit crying
And waiting in my corner
Until then i lie bleeding
With nothing but
Hopeless hope as a friend...

I still see you in the distance
I try to say your name
But you can't seem to hear me
I know your looking
But I seem invisible...

Come closer my dark prince
For you are so near me
I can feel your breath
Bringing me to life

I can see again
I can feel...
I love you my prince
And now we are one again

The Sensations You Bring (Poem by me)

For once in my life
I feel this is right
Being in your arms
I dont need to fight

Your eyes so blue
Put me at ease
For I see the true you
And the love you have for me.

Dont fret your mistakes
They are already forgiven
I love all of you
and your false steps.

You've given me a light
I worried I'd never see
Some say I've done the same
for you as you have me

This feeling is like a high
Only it never fades
It is a constant sensation
free of jaded shades.

You've made me fall head over heals
Yet it doesnt hurt at all
Dont forget this
For my love is not small

'graph # 1

My hands are soft and seemingly gentle. I could tell you many stories of both when I used them to heal, or to hurt. I cannot say I am proud of hurting another, especially one I care for so much. It is not my way, and I am hoping that in the years to come it will not ever come to be my way. I use my hands to wipe away dirt and blood from my little sisters scrapes and cuts. I use them to wash dishes when no one else dares. My hands show only that they are fair skinned and polk a dotted with freckles. If you look close you see scars in which even I can’t remember how or why they are there. I am ashamed that there was a time where I did use them to fight. My mother says I have a strong punch. I guess she is proud of what she has taught me, I can defend myself. These instances have given me an insight to a person I hate, a person I never want to see. I now know how to be a more patient, and flexible person. I keep my tempr in check. I even try to keep from lashing out with my words. I want to be the gentile person that people see, so that is what I choose to do. I choose to heal through physical and emotional ways. I am always there for those that need it. I listen, and with these very hands of mine, I comfort and hold my friends. These are my hands, what I do with them is what I choose. I choose to be the friend and sister that I am needed to be.

drama drama drama

LETS GET POPCORN!!!!!

and a large mountain dew. =)



this was just a test post.